How a Jones Day Associate Dealt with an ‘Ornery Senior Partner’
Sometimes you have to change your own mindset before you can deal with an office bully or a crabby boss.
It worked for Chelsea Grayson, who was an associate at Jones Day in Los Angeles when she was assigned to work on a series of deals with “an ornery senior partner,” the Wall Street Journal reports.
“He was very intimidating,” Grayson told the newspaper. “He’d give me these unrealistic deadlines, saying sarcastically that there were 24 hours in a day. He never smiled, and I just thought he didn’t like me.”
Grayson decided to look at the situation through the senior partner’s eyes, according to the story. She deducted that he was nearing retirement and facing pressure to train young lawyers. “Once I understood his motivation, I decided to take responsibility for changing the dynamic,” she said. “I demonstrated interest and enthusiasm whenever we’d interact, and eventually he became my mentor.”
Stanford University management professor Bob Sutton told the Wall Street Journal that Grayson’s approach is best. He says difficult relationships at the office may be caused by a cycle of offense and revenge in which first one person, and then the other, tries to best the other. His recommendation: Assume the best about the other person’s motivation.
“Stop trying to win, and treat it as a problem-solving exercise,” he told the newspaper. “Sometimes it also helps to have a sincere conversation, in person rather than over e-mail.”
If that doesn’t work, he adds, then seek ways to stay away from the negative person.
